Every time I come on stage, at the beginning of the show, I feel like I'm on a firstDate. We meet for the first time. I really want you to like me. You're already disappointed because of the way I look – a typical first date… but don’t worry we'll have a great date, a magical date.

Cellebrite, we have two main groups in the audience tonight – the mobile forensics and the MLC – mobile lifecycle. Everyone knows that we're here having fun thanks to the forensics. forensics bring in the big money. They sell and sell and sell, and MLC are only here for the free drinks.

 I'm joking, I'm joking, you all work hard trying to sell Cellebrite products. No, No, you're not selling products, as Amir Ler says, we're selling a solution! What is the solution? How much does it cost? No one knows, but lets' go out there and sell it!!!

Is Alon  Shantzerhere? It’s a big surprise you came, because everyone knows you're  a workaholic. I received a call from Vodaphone Global before I came on stage – what's happening with the RFQ?? They need an answer.

 Before we begin, I would like to thank our sponsor - EVP of sales,  Mr. Alon klomek.  Alon where are you? As you probably know, Alon wakes up at 5 every morning and starts to run, and run, and run. A lot of people want to know what does he think about when he runs? He's thinking 'where can I open a new office? Where on the globe is there a place without a Cellebrite office.

Then he goes to work in Petach Tikva (by the way, he parks in Ramat Gan because there's no parking in Petach Tikva). He goes into his office, picks up a globe, spins it around and where he points his finger on the globe, that’s where he'll open a new office. Yeah! Singapore, Sau Paolo, China, France, U.K. He just loves to open new offices.

 He also loves to save money for the company. He will find the way to take you to London, you'll just have to take three connections, a "short' horse ride and a refreshing swim and you're there. You will reach your meeting, 2 days late maybe, but Alon will save cellebrite 99.99$.

Hagit, your one and only sales operation director, are you here? Where are you? I've been standing here for five minutes and I haven't heard you once. They told me I can't miss Hagit, you hear her from far. You can be in china and you'll hear her screaming in Petah Tikva.

Hagit, is everything is ok? Because when Hagit is upset everyone knows about it. "you have rules!!! Follow the rules!!!" she's not the sales operatio director, she's the Cellebrite police. I'm telling you can sell her UFEDs.

Forensics, are you here? Lets' have a round of applause for the guys from forensics. Lior Ben Peretz, where are you? Lior - The man and the vision. Lior has a vision, he lives from one vision to another. He dosen't think about tomorrow, he's thinking five years ahead. He has a vision.

 Michelle from France, are you here? Bonsoir Michelle. Lets' have around of applause for Michelle. You sold to the Gandarmerie. With all that’s happening in France now, unfortunately they REALLY need your products now.

Terry Loo, you came all the way from Singapore. Lets' hear it for teri. We're so glad you’re here tonight) Terry runs marathon)  this is how he chase customers…

One moment, Roi, our man in Africa, are you here? Please stay in your seat, I'm not certain you went through all the checks in the airport when you came back the last time. I don’t know how much they pay you, but I hope there's an abolla bonus for you. 

Fred from Brazil. We're so glad to have you with us tonight.  But if I can ask just one question… were waiting for the order fromSENAPSE. We've been waiting for three years!!! Alon is waiting for the order. He runs and thinks 'what's withSENAPSE. Fred told me it’s a done deal'.

You know, with SENAPSE or withoutSENAPSE, 2014 was a great year for forensics. True, there weren’t any new products, you sold more of the same - UFED touch and UFED for the PC, aren't you fed up already?

 Lets' be honest – UFED is the best product, it's much better than M-SUB. Who wants to buy M-SUB? It's not M-SUB, they should change the name to M-SUCKS. UFED is something else, it's much better and ever body knows it.  And In 2015 there will be 2 new products – UFED Cloud and UFED Infield, they will be available on the market in May, or maybe April, maybe June, or July or 2016. You know how it works, it all depends on R&D and products.

David Heled[HR1] , are you here? God damit, why are you here?!?!? You're supposed to be working on the UFED cloud? It will never happen at this rate!!! It will be ready don't worry. There will be a new product, and more importantly – a new version. 

Because what's nice about working in the forensics department? That every month there is a new version – 4.0, 4.1. When you're in forensics you're in a constant state of stress, until the very last minute you don’t know what you'll get in the new version. And the biggest surprise is when there is no new version. We know we promised, but we're not ready yet, the market can wait.

 And even if R&D will create the best version possible, the best version ever, the sales department will always complain – "we can't sale this", "It's not ready", "You don’t understand the market". Only Yoni can sell. Yoni can sell everything. Yoni loves to sale. In 2014 he sold what he's supposed to sell in 2016. He sold products that don’t exist yet. He loves to sell. To sell and to cry. I don’t know if he prefers selling or crying. "I sold it but, it's not ready". (while crying)

You know Yoni cries a lot, buts it's not easy to work on forensics, you show them the UFED, you explain about the product, the features, you show them the extraction, they say "we love it", "we need It"', "it's wonderful, wonderful Michelle, where do we sign?".

 Now you have to win thebid. 'We want it now' in police jargon means waiting at least  3 years. You have to wait to be submitted, then short listed and then for the budget to be approved, and finally you get it – or you don't. Because if you're in South America, sorry Fred, anything can happen. At the last minute the government collapses and the army takes over, or there's a big corruption scandal and you have to start everything from the beginning.

Mlc  – Amir Ler are you here? Did you get here on your bike? If Lior is a visionary, then what can we say about Amir? He thinks and pedals, pedals and thinks – what will be our new strategy, what will be our new product? Oops I did it again, in Cellebrite we don't sell products, we sell solutions.

I was just joking in the beginning when I said MLC are here just for the fun. It's hard to work in MLC. Forensics sell peanuts. MLC need to work with the big companies – Orange, Vodaphone, China-Tellecom. They need to work with the guys in tech and with the strategy division.

 It's hard to sell diagnostics. You know Andy Wong doesn't remember how his house looks like. He lives in Singapore – Airlines. He wakes up every morning wondering in which country he's in. China? Malaysia? Name a country in Asia and he's been there. Singapore airlines are thinking about changing their name to Andy Wong airlines.

 2013-4 was the year of TBR, but 2015 will be the year that diagnostics become a great hit. There will be diagnostics online, diagnostics in the web, in the air, diagnostics on the moon. After death diagnostics, diagnostics everywhere, just sell diagnostics. Mali – we love you, thank you for the diagnostics. Give a lot of applause for Mali, she's doing a really great job.

Speaking of a great job, where is Joseph. Orange France!!!! A round of applause for him. He managed to sell diagnostics to the French, to bad nobody knows how to deliver it. "Mali give me something, I sold it, they want it, merd. David help me. 'Hello, Orange France, it's Joseph from cellebrite, Mali is working on it, off course it's ready, she's just customizing it, she says it will be delivered on time – in three years. Don’t worry".  C'est la vie, C'est la diagnostics

Before we finish this part of the show, one last small thing. Yossi and Ron, where are you? I won't tell any jokes about Yossi and Ron, they said they'll only pay me at the end of the night… but, the people in the audience want to know, what's happening with the bonuses?  Take Dana and approve the bonuses already. Josef is getting married. He wants to know if he can buy a real diamond or just fake it? What's happening with the bonuses?

Ladies and gentlemen, I told you we're going to have a magical night. It's a special night, because it's all about Cellebrite. I want to call to the stage, the man that will be on stage with me all night. He's not an ordinary man, he's an artist. A huge round of applause, please welcome my partner this evening, the one and only Dudi Shemer.



Good evening Cellebrite,

Welcome to the grand sales kickoff of 2015.

My name is Eli Gallperin and I'm the main attraction of the night. I know some of you are probably wondering 'this is what a main attraction looks like? This isn't very attractive…'. But don't be worried, we'll have a great show tonight.